To tattoo or not to tattoo
December 1, 2009
Pros
Do you like your face? I hope you do. But if you don’t, it’s understandable. Not because it’s ugly but because you didn’t choose it: it might not be your thing. You didn’t choose your hands either. Or your shoulders. Or your ankles. But what you can choose is a tattoo, and this means having a part of your body that you can look at every day and LOVE. (NB. This may not be applicable if you choose a tattoo of Garfield. Or a unicorn. Or a random Chinese symbol that you don’t understand.)
Tattoos show conviction. They show that you can make a decision and stick with it. When doubters say, ‘You’re stuck with that your whole life’, you can confidently think, ‘YES! Because that’s what I do, I stick with things. I am no quitter.’ It’s a nice feeling.
According to the website of ‘clothing-optional’ resorts, nudity is equalising. They say when we are naked, age, race and body issues just fade away. But what if you don’t want to be stripped of all your identity when stripped of all your clothes? A tattoo remains no matter how nude you are. (Not saying you necessarily hang out in nudist colonies but the same applies with change rooms at the gym or posing en masse for a Spencer Tunick photograph. Not saying you do those either.)
First impressions matter. Regardless of how virtuous we claim to be, we make physical assessments in a split second. What if the first impression you give off is eternally sweet and innocent when really you want to be viewed as street? A visible bad-ass tattoo (neck, face, hand) will shift that immediately. An optionally visible bad-ass tattoo (arm, leg, shoulder) means you can show your tough side when you want to. A visible-only-when-about-to-shag-or-model-nude-for-a-life-drawing-class bad-ass tattoo can surprise those who once thought they had your personality pinned down.
Cons
Apparently, for lots of Japanese people, tattoos are still associated with the Yakuza. By all accounts (read: in movies) the Yakuza are not very nice people, you probably don’t want to be mistaken for one of them. Sure, to begin with, Lucy Liu in Kill Bill looks real pretty in her snow white kimono. But we all know what happens to her in the end. Therefore, the formula is quite obviously Tattoos = Yakuza = Bad.
Interesting description: “A tattoo is a puncture wound, made deep in your skin, that’s filled with ink. It’s made by penetrating your skin with a needle and injecting ink into the area.” Now what part of this says to you, ‘Hey now, that sounds like an awesome idea’?
The days of tattoos being a sign of rebellion and individuality are well and truly over, my friend. You only need to look at what’s going on in the celebrity world to realise how bad things have gotten. These days tatts are less Mickey Rourke and more Mary Kate Olsen. But, hey, don’t listen to us, listen to someone who knows, someone from the front line: ‘I decided to get a tattoo because it was the most shocking thing I could think of doing,” explains Helen Mirren. “Now I’m utterly disgusted and shocked because it’s become completely mainstream, which is unacceptable to me.’
And finally, two words: Wino Forever.
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