The letter request:
I’d like a Valentine’s Day letter that gently reminds him why he’s so lucky to have me / should love me more / keep loving me forever / give me foot rubs EVERY day.
Dear Ned, my Beloved Valentine,
Happy YOU Day!
As you read this, imagine me nuzzled in real close beside you. Maybe you’ve got your arm around me and I’m kinda nestled against your sturdy Irish chest all nice and snug like. Yeah, that’s it, that feels real cosy. Now, imagine my elbow, the one closest to you, imagine it digging into your lower ribs. Not so that it hurts – no way I would never hurt you on YOU Day – but just so it gently presses against your flesh in the sweetest way. Feel that? That’s called a nudge.
Because guess what? Seeing as though I’m the lucky lady who gets to say the words, “I’m Ned’s Beloved Valentine”, today is also Happy ME Day!
Which brings me to a few crucial points, the first being: how good is our music collection? This is a rhetorical question of course because we both know our music collection totally rocks. I tell you what, I’m pretty lucky to be working at a record company where I get loads of free music and, hey, how lucky are you to have access to that music by going out with me? Another rhetorical question.
You know sometimes, when we’re listening to our really cool music while kicking back with a beer at my really great holiday house by the beach, I think to myself, Wow, Ned looks so happy right now. And that makes me happy. You being happy makes me giddy with glee.
Which is why I’m glad there are so many things about me that have the potential to make you happy. That I’m really ebay savvy, for example, or that I have about six good hair days a week which, you’ll find, is well above the average. Perhaps what makes you happy is that I’m a corker at feathering our nest or maybe, just maybe, it’s my access to two things that, in and of themselves are not particularly thrilling but, when brought together, are the source of endless good times: truck tyre inner tubes and rapids.
You and me, Ned, we’re just like those inner tubes and rapids. We’re Better Together. Rapids without a tube are scary – you can get cut by the rocks or dunked under water without knowing which way is up. And a tube without rapids is the epitome of boring – you’re just some weirdo sitting in a tube in the middle of a field, not going anywhere. Sure maybe it’s kind of relaxing, meditative even, but eventually you’ll find yourself standing up, flinging your tube under your arm and racing towards the enticing sound of that rushing water.
Come to think of it, you know what else we’re like? We’re like hands and feet. Sure, your hands on their own are never going to disappoint and my feet on their own will always have a certain je ne sais quoi but together – oh my – the way my foot fits so snug into the palm of your hand as you hold it tight and massage the bejesus out of it – now that, that is the source of endless good times.
Just something to keep in mind.
All my love always,