Situation: Anarchy

The letter request:

I need your assistance. I bought a lovely watch from David Jones for my gorgeous sister. She has small wrists so needed to get it adjusted. She went back to DJs but was told they don’t provide this free service anymore… It seems that they’ve taken a leaf out of the budget airlines school of Customer Service offerings with optional extras like a watch that fits your wrist fitting this category…


The letter:

Dear David Jones,

Thank heavens you’re not in law enforcement. Here’s what might happen if you were: you’d arrest a perp, slap a pair of cuffs on them, the perp’s wrists would be slightly on the dainty side, the cuffs would slip off, the perp would escape, you’d shrug your shoulders and walk away. Situation: Anarchy.

You see, David Jones, it seems you’re suffering from a bout of wrist discrimination. To evidence:

When I flew into Melbourne on Christmas Eve, I ducked straight into David Jones to buy a lovely watch to give my sister on Christmas Day. Now my sister happens to be the bearer of petite wrists so when she tried on the watch it slipped right off. No probs, I said, and directed her to you, tried and trusted retailer that you are, to have the wristband adjusted.

Now there are certain obstacles I might’ve predicted to this quest: public transport delays, savage bargain hunters, overworked retail staff. What I didn’t predict was that you’d demand fifteen bucks to send her watch on to a third party. I didn’t predict this because I’ve had wristbands adjusted, gratis, by many watch retailers – from fancy Tissots to Mr Elvis on Kuta Beach; hells, I’ve even had wristbands adjusted by you, David Jones, gratis. Since year dot it’s been a basic service offered by retailers to their customers, part and parcel of the transaction.

My sister held onto her fifteen bucks. Here’s what we’re going to do instead: return the watch to you, get a full refund (wrong size, sad face), and purchase the same watch from the brand’s high street store up the road. You see they don’t discriminate against wrists, they don’t see a watch fitting its owner as an optional extra; they see it as an integral part of the transaction. Sure, this alternative will probably cost more and take longer than using your third party suggestion but what my sister lacks in wrist circumference she makes up for in her moral stance.