Crops in Tuvalu

The letter request:

I just had the most bizarre experience with the dry cleaner, could you write to tell him that he’s an idiot?


The letter:

Dear Drycleaner,

I write in relation to our recent altercation. I’ll remind you of who I am because I suspect that you are the type to have altercations with customers so often that they all become a blur.

Me (pretty lady with long eyelashes)You lost my belt? Really?
You (grumpy man with bad attitude)- Yep.
M- Oh dear. What are you going to do now?
Y- Wait a week or so and see if it turns up.
M- Well, I can’t wear that coat without a belt.
Y- (Bored yawn)
M- I catch public transport so I need that coat this week.
Y- Have you searched your car?
M- No. You already said that you lost it. (getting a little angry by now, I must admit) What will I wear to work? I only have one coat.
Y- Hmmph. I don’t believe you only have one coat.
M-  I do only have one coat!
Y- God, if this is stressing you, you must lead a pretty charmed life! Why don’t you turn on SBS tonight and have a look at people who have real problems.

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Jennie from the Block

The letter request:

I do a few different things to pay the bills but mostly I’m just working on my art.  I’m happy enough living in near poverty, it’s all part of the game, but after a recent demoralising trip to the accountant I am considering topping myself.


The letter:

Dear Jennie from H&R Block,

Thank you for doing my tax for me this morning. It’s not my favourite thing to do. I don’t mind earning the money but I really hate the part where I have to gather all my paperwork around me and look at what I’ve got. I find it’s a little like vomiting after a big night out or cleaning up after a party. Possibly because I haven’t got that much money to count.

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